For a long time, Sidd, t being a part of it.  years as a Samana, asted ricasted lust, asted poill remained in  for a long time a Samana; Kamala, being smart, e rig ill t of ting, of fasting, o o them.

    Years passed by; surrounded by t te a y by to  to  Kamala.

    t  state of being aime at t of er Gotamas sermon, after tion from Govinda, t tense expectation, t proud state of standing alone  teac teac supple o listen to t, ing; distant and quiet, to be near, ama, ime aftere living, joy of tation, secret knoernal entity, ill  one part after anot. Just as a potters ion, urning for a long time and only slos vigour and come to a stop, t on turning ticism, tiation for a long time, still turning, but it turned sloly and o coming to a standstill. Sloering tem of a tree, filling it slo rot, tered Sidd filled   tired, put it to sleep. On they had experienced.

    Siddo trade, to use o enjoy o iful cloto give orders to servants, to baters. o eat tenderly and carefully prepared food, even fis and poultry, spices and ss, and to drink o co  in a sedan-co sleep on a soft bed. But still  different from and superior to tcantly feels for t insulted,  sloibly, as t seasons and rainy seasons passed by, ired, y . Just sloo t ance to attaco t of passion in t s antly in love. time in love   learn t of all t of all t ones, , in ter  before, ayed in bed for a long time, felt unable to tired. It  ient, oo loud, er and more spiritual t it rarely lauger anotures ures of discontent, of sickliness, of ill-he soul, which rich people have, grabbed hold of him.

    Like a veil, like a t, tiredness came over Siddting a bit denser every day, a bit murkier every mont ime, loses its beautiful colour in time, gets stains, gets s  tarts to ss arted after ion from Govinda,  colour and splendour as tains, and  bottom, already ss ugliness ment and disgust ing. Sidd notice it. iced t t and reliable voice inside of  t time and  times, .

    ured by t, covetousness, slot vice  as t foolisy, possessions, and ricured rifles to range and devious en into t base of all dependencies, by means of t  time,  Siddo play t otimes only joined om of to take akes. o a pain of , losing and ing c rate s false god, more clearly and more mockingly. takes and mercilessly, ing  money, lost je a ry,  again. t fear, t terrible and petrifying fear,  fear  to al, al, al it to a sligill felt sometoxication, someted form of life in t of urated, lukewarm, dull life.

    And after eac on nerictly to pay, because ed to continue gambling, ed to continue squandering, continue demonstrating   ience ime, lost o ion for giving ao titioned ens of t one roll of t it, became more strict and more petty in  nig money! And o  and disgust came over inued fleeing, fleeing into a neo a numbing of  on by sex, by o to pile up and obtain possessions. In tless cycle ired, growing old, growing ill.

    time came ting under trees, talking, and Kamala ful ell  Gotama, and could not ill and beautiful ime, o tell  ted Budd;One day, per Budd and take my refuge in eac; But after tied o  of making love ing and in tears, as if, once more, sed to squeeze t s drop out of ting pleasure. Never before, it rangely clear to Sidd o deato  to tion, an inscription of small lines, of sligion reminiscent of autumn and old age, just as Siddies, iced, iredness ten on Kamalas beautiful face, tiredness from ination, tiredness and till unsaid, per even conscious anxiety: fear of old age, fear of tumn, fear of o die. ito ance, and full of concealed anxiety.

    t t in ed as if o toe, true, o bed a long time after midnigired and yet excited, close to  rating ire body like taste of t too s, dull music, t too soft smile of t too s scent of ts. But more ted by iredness and listlessness of en and drunk far too mucs it back up again  to free s and all of tless life and  of disgust. Not until t of t activities in treet before y-ly fallen asleep, s a  of sleep. In ts, he had a dream:

    Kamala o. : te, imes alo sing in ttention, epped in front of tiff on took it out,  in  a in treet, and in t,  terribly s , as if  this dead bird.

    Starting up from t encompassed by a deep sadness. ort seemed to less  in ood ty like a castahe shore.

    it to te, sat doree, felt deat and , sat and sensed o an end in s, and in  tire patarting  days ime rue bliss? Oimes aste of it,  it in : quot;t of tinguisation of te ant in t; t it in : quot;t of you, you are destined for, ting you.quot; And again, as a young man, itude of tled in pain for tained kno in  of t, in t of t t;Go on! Go on! You are called upon!quot;  o t perfected one, and also ain. For   any more,  a  t,  elevation, content ful pleasures and yet never satisfied! For all of t kno ried o become a man like t er all, t entire o co  ill need  play a game  an ending? as it necessary to live for t  necessary! to play once, ten times--but for ever and ever over again?

    t t  play it any more. S, something had died.

    t entire day,  under tree, tama. Did o leave to become a Kamas t  sigars, : quot;ting under my mango-tree, in my pleasure-garden.quot; tle -- really necessary,  rig not as foolis ree, t he owned a garden?

    an end to to tree, o t food t strong  of y, of able . iredly, so things.

    In t, Sidd  ty, and never came back. For a long time, Kamasold t Sidd astonis al it? as  a Samana, a man  time togete of all t sionately to  for t time, t s one more time to be so completely possessed and penetrated by him.

    neo tive in a golden cage. Sook t and let it fly. For a long time, ser it, tors and kept  after some time, s s from t time sogetha.