And because of ed to talk about personal t here.

    Martin s drink up and go, and ood up. But Captain Coffee , s tter noo e conversation, and ood completely, and side until e, for reasons I cant go into. And  didnt matter, ill  outside unless anyone else came. And ts arbucks for our coffee meetings. It rate on  tside c  stealing s, or biscotties as  places like Starbucks being unpersonal and all t, but s ?

    Id be lost, if JJ and people like t got to kno t o go into small places omers, small booksaurants and cafes. Im  in tore and Borders and Starbucks and Pizza Express, .

    t a lot in America, read books and talk about tin reckoned it  Id never , so it cant be t   fas it in Dazed and Confused. t of it o talk about Somet of t get into ro arbucks usually ended up. And o read books by people  heir heads.

    Martin said

    about staying alive, not  about topping yourself. But it turned out ters ook tion, and  for ted on using funds from our media appearances to buy ourselves the books.

    Any turned out not to be tion at all. Fucking ry and read tuff by people ed  a lig I read enougo knoence to see t. I sort of identify , because I suffer from t sometimes, but ake o go public . I mean, it  of souvenir be people like us could learn from ies and t, but it  it, because in t a book publis so mucition. So you could marco a publis tand you. try pilates or salsa dancing instead.

    JJ  it , so I   like it.  because your daddy reads books? Is t  read books, bad luck, and I told  because you didnt go to sc , arent t alloo say anyt books because t like t muc  o o our reading group  I , and upid as to expect anyt going to , Ill say so. And , Yea youre gonna say t, arent you, because youre so fucking contrary, sorry Maureen. And I said, Yea, because youre suc, and  to be talking about in th, Primo Levi, hemingway.

    So I said, ell  of doing t? s fun about t? And s not Pop Idol, man. You dont vote for t one. t t, and alk about to go by, I dont accept t. In fact I no te. And JJ got really  t, and tness tin stepped in and  to do any more books for a ead. Maureen  Cobain, can you believe it?

    I do t, but I do. Its just t my  from everyone elses. Before I to get angry and maybe a bit violent,  toug. Any nig about JJ, and hem.

    And its true  , not really, alto pretend t he does.

    Jen  they scared me.

    they scare me even more now.

    did to ening only to to no one else - not  er, no one? I got out of bed and  into  exactly as it . (People are al in films, and you t, like you dont  a guest bedroom, or some all your crap. But you try going in t ory, Catco Kill a Mockingbird, tc, because t ed us to read), Crime and Punis, , Good Places to Go  to Disappear… t  a joke, t last one.

    I dont to be a big reader, because s me, but Im sure I er at it if s put me off by disappearing. It  t time Id been in   be t, I kne t me, and  is kno one of t o understand. I dont mean t Ill find some sentence s  ion mark by texas. I just mean t if I read everyt took tention in t fe some picture of  even knoo find   out,  you, considering as hing.

    But I dont. I cant. I cant because Im too lazy, too stupid, and I cant even make t because sometops me. t sit t me, day after day, and one day I kno them.

    So, no, Im not a big reader.

    JJ Our cultural program  books out of t s read stuff alk about, if you knoed to talk about  a big fan of Literature.  of books in prison, but mostly biograp adversities, like Nelson Mandela and t  of Martin S t t reasons. And, believe me, you dont  to kno of books. Youd find it offensive.

    S about me, t be? Ive spent my entire life  read - my folks, my sister, most of tion - and it makes you really defensive, after a  t I mind being called a fag bla friends bla to me, being a fag is about edly, but its   so much?

    Sure, I could be pretty anti-social able in a  American Pastoral isnt.

    Eddie . It elling  I . And like a marriage, toget got; but no I t it, toget. e kne going to make it, as a band and maybe even as friends, and so  made Eddie panic more, because I t idea t reading o  of new career. Yeas w happens in life.

    be a cool guy. ising agency. e spent all talking about tuff icing all t, and it broke bots.

    And all t is a long-ass  Jess.

    Id left one band full of aggressive illiterates, and I sure as  going to join anoting, sleeping -  t just makes you unhappier.

    And for some reason, I t music o be easier, . I only  invested in books, but I got my  I couldnt go  t s like  go, and poured to a little tiny bottle and corked it up. And s to play and sing, akes t, and you can smell it. Youre pinned into your seat, as if its a  its not - its still, and quiet, and you dont  to breaten it aening to  Maureens, because  play our o Starbucks, and at Maureens youve got tty breatra freaky instrument. So I ting to chese peoples lives for ever.

    At t song, Jess started putting  and making faces.

    But  or something.

    t to be an insult: I  t poets ures you migestine.

    I dont mind it, said Martin. I  , if he was playing in a wine bar.

    I would, said Jess.

    I o punc simultaneously, but rejected t it oo quickly, and t be enoug to keep on pummeling ter t a time. Its music rage, iny part of you kno  ts these people dead.

    And to Five Leaves Left weird.

    got ears? Maureen said suddenly. Cant you iful   me.

    part, like a little kid, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah.

    Dont pretend to be more foolishan you are, Jess, said Maureen.

    Because youre foolis is. Seamed. Soo. Just listen to , and stop blathering.

    And Jess could see t s it, and s up, and ened to t of t Maureen closely you could see ening a little.

    een seventy-four. y-six.

    ty-six. S for a moment, tful, and I ive  sra years. You  people to respond, but sometimes t, you know?

    People dont  to , do they? she said.

    No one said anyt sure w.

    t  to kno. t to kno Im feeling om Jones makes you feel. Or t Australian girl  play  are sad dont fit in.

    ed never alk like t even kno to stop her.

    Its funny, because people ts Matty t stops me fitting in. But Mattys not so bad. … Its tty makes me feel t stops me fitting in. You get t of everyto guess all time  it  puts people off. Im tired of it.

    And so suddenly Maureen , and because s too, and I ed to say t to her. You need a holiday.

    I said it because I ed to be sympatic, but tony, and I realized t noony he money.

    about t? ? I said. Lets all take Maureen on in burst out laughing.

    Yea, said Jess.  are eers for like an old folks  old, I said. y-one, she said.

    OK, not an old folks home. A boring folks home.

    And  fascinating person on t? Martin said.

    I dont look like t, for a start. Any you  unnoticed, amid all ter and tarted to cry.

    Im sorry, Maureen, said Martin. I  being ungallant. I just couldnt imagine tting around a swimming pool on our sun loungers.

    No, no, said Maureen. I took no offense. Not mucs to go on s fine. I just got a bit ed it. Its been a long… Nobodys… I … It  nice of s all.

    Oin quietly. No t ty ood.  Martin meant by Oext, if I can explain an obscenity y, is t  kind of asso say to Maureen, you kno t counts. s enough for you.

    And like five days later o tenerife.

    It  mine. I didnt feel t I  to decide, not really, even ter of to me. I ed t place, to JJ,  Cosmic tony, so I didnt t e on it. I t I did is, I abstained.

    It  as if t, t.

    te   t,  ter to go noines Day. For a moment t il Martin pointed out t to cover Mattys time in tre as well.

    Lets go  Maureen, t, for a moment, until it turned out she was joking.

    I cant remember t time I  because I  because I  people to feel sorry for me; its just t it range feeling.  it  even alloo t t it o anything.

    It  up to t point, o eac ory, considering . Youd tory of four people ed to her.

    But it  been up until t at all, not me and Martin sitting on Jesss  o be kind, ratil t ory of four people  eacher.

    them swore, anyway.

    I tle sobbing noises t embarrassed everyone, myself included.

    F— s only a s just beac.

    I ed to tell Jess t I  even seen an Englisty left sco take to Brig  say anyt kno of many t I could feel t of t one, so I kept it to myself. You kno t going ell people t fact about your life, just because to feel sorry for you. I suppose its ell t ends up making terrible.

    I  to describe every moment of t seemed so exciting, but t ake, too. If youre like everybody else t an airport looks like,  sounds and smells like, and if I tell you about it, t  anot I  seen ten years. Id got a one-year passport from t office, and even t caused too mucement, because I sa a big traveler. One of t invite me to ty I didnt go to; one day, I t, Ill tell o take my first trip abroad. Id really o kno, though.

    You probably kno you sit in a ro me sit in t, because tin sat in t next to  fees. After a little  ting next to  ts ting and carrying on. Anot terrible noise imes t knoomacurned to er, and Martin o alk to me.

    And you probably also kno , you cant  t til  teful to God for providing t o understand tter, and so you end up in a terrible muddle and needing to talk to a priest. I decided I  sit in t on t kno people .

    Not ty  felt t strange.

    But I also enjoyed tness of it, so it probably  at all like missing a leg, because I dont suppose people ness of it very muco say t it  Matty, but its muco move around  it? So maybe it ruto   say t being on t Matty  a t, and it  in t aken off. I missed  o die, and I  said goodbye to hen.

    e didnt fall out on t nigel s and bat been expecting. And  poured into torrent of er t dam, and it nearly knocked me over. My knees buckled for a moment, and I o lean against too, but it  fierce and strong, like t; it just sat quiet and blue, and made tiny little murmuring noises.

    Some people can see t to, I t, but to stop t because it ed to t. It ime to be feeling grateful, not to be coveting my neighbours wife, or his sea views.

    e ate in a seafront restaurant not far from tel. I e squid and lobster, and Jess  tell you en out in a restaurant, or  to do t.

    I didnt even try to tell t for myself, and kne  to carry. Anyime t it  all, apart from took it for granted.

    I o say t care  sounds: it  meal Ive ever  evening Ive ever  so terrible, to be so positive about something?